Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a very good time with friends and family over Thanksgiving. I hope it was a happy one. Honestly, ever since i started living in the U.S. I feel like i have become much more grateful for all the wonderful things people do for me, the opportunities and love i’ve received. There are days when it feels like i am an alien here. Days when i don’t understand what’s going on even though i do and days when i can’t keep up because that’s not how i learned to live.

A few days ago, i was talking to my good friend, we were sitting in the computer lab discussing job openings and applications when i told him how lucky he was to not have to deal with being an international student and that every job he applies to, he stands a very good chance. Pat came his reply, “I am sorry you weren’t born here.” I know for a fact, he wasn’t really “Sorry” about it but it enraged me that he even entertained the thought that i would have preferred to be born there. I was quick to respond, “I am happy that i was born where i was, I am glad i was born in India and that i see things differently.”

That incident happened Friday before the Thanksgiving break. He forgot all about it but i just can’t take it out of my head. The weather was bad on Sunday and V (another friend) happened to get into some trouble with that. School was closed on Monday due to snow showers and bad weather. Good for us I also had to fly out for something but my flight was cancelled and i think i am glad it was. Another reason to be Thankful. Tuesday we reconvened in the class and later in the lab. We were supposed to grab dinner outside but had to drop another classmate home. She lives near his parents so we decided to make a quick stop at the parents’ place. His mom in the meanwhile kept some soup and pizza ready for us. I was tired and hungry from Zumba and couldn’t bring myself to decline the offer, so we stayed. We ended up staying there for over two hours, eating dinner, me fielding questions about my country, defending some policies, being candid about some state of affairs and playing with the dog. It was a fun time and i am thankful for that.

Wednesday was uneventful for the most part except my friends decided to take me out at night for a drink, it was just V, G and me. We spent time engaging each other in a nonsensical conversation and trying to be rational about it. What would i do without those two. The day i was waiting for all week was now finally here. Thursday. Thanksgiving Day. Turkey Day.

I have been here in this country for three Thanksgivings and each year has been very different, while the first was spent in my house, last year was at an Indian family’s but the food was mostly American but this year was my first real American Thanksgiving and i was the only Indian in the room. I was lucky to be invited over by J to the M household to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family. It was her parents, grandma, uncle, aunt, cousins, herself, one of my Professors and me! Oh, and the two dogs. I was treated like one of the grandkids, i was gifted a Christmas ornament with a $5 bill in it. It felt like my own grandma gave me this gift. Also, their family tradition is that you need to bring the Christmas ornament back to the house the following year to receive more money!

It was a great time eating all the wonderful things prepared by J’s mom, grandma and aunt. I stayed there from 3pm to 10pm and it was just J, her mom, grandma and me having a discussion from 7pm until 10pm. Grandma had to work the next morning so she excused herself at 9pm and went to bed. I felt welcomed. I felt Thankful for having a friend who thought of me and wanted to include me as part of the family celebration.

Anyone who knows how American things go know that it’s few times a year that families come together and Thanksgiving is a big deal celebration. It’s very different from Indian celebrations because most of ours are a “chalo sab aa jao” and “Everyone’s welcome” kind of celebration. Here a lot of emphasis is on celebrating with very near and very dear ones.

The fact that i am considered to be near or dear or both is what i am most Thankful for in this moment. It makes me feel positive, it helps me feel less pain for all the  times people have not given back as much as they should’ve or could’ve. (This part is something i am taking from Amarllyis, my friend and fellow blogger who is so much better than i am )

Link to her post: http://amarllyis.com/2013/11/because-it-matters/

I am lucky to have been part of this journey, my journey. I know exciting things are in store in the future. I want to believe in everything positive but that belief stems from the realization that there’s more good in this world than bad. There are more kind people than unkind. That in the end things always work out or they eventually will and for all these reasons i have to be/ am deeply grateful and thankful.

Until next time, Peace Out!

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Catching Up

Hello Everyone,

Sorry it’s been about two month since my last post. The goal was to create a habit to write daily and needless to mention, i’ve fallen short. It worked for a while when i was on vacation but now since school has started, the pressure is building and i am going from one deadline to the next for projects and assignments, homework and exams.

There have been quite a few good things that have happened in the past weeks, I am working hard to try to get where i want to be. My college department is supportive of me. I have a great network of friends. I was down in NYC last weekend and i had a great time with a friend walking around Central Park on Saturday and the high line on Sunday. The weather was great Saturday but was cold on Sunday.

I am looking forward to new beginnings when i am done with my degree. I will be looking for a job and building my life from there. I hope all of you are doing well and life is taking you places you want to go. I truly believe that if you want something badly enough, you will get it no matter how bleak the situation seems at this moment.

Therefore, this post is to just say yes, i am trying to catch up with blogging regularly and that i haven’t forgotten you and i am thankful for the network and support of fellow bloggers and readers. It means much to me. Many times, when something happens – my first instinct is to want to write about it. Record it so that it shall stay in my memory forever but usually something like that happens in the middle of a busy day where i am running from one place to the next and so i put it off for later but it never happens until i sit down and consciously try to jot everything down. By the time i get to writing, the raw emotions have faded and now only a silhouette of what i had been feeling.

I will try to write more regularly. For now i am just grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

Take care y’all.

 

 

Day 31: Moon

It was a starry night

I looked up at the sky

There was sorrow in my heart

There was sorrow on his face.

He asked me why i was sad

I said, i was empathizing for my best friend

I then asked why he was sad?

He said he couldn’t bear the pain of being away from his loved ones

But he also mentioned that there was a new member that joined his distant family.

I think i knew who he was talking about

She who left our side, is now twinkling as a new next to him.

She is my friend’s grandma and he is our Moon.

 

This post is dedicated to my best friend who is at this time mourning the loss of her grandma. To all my fellow bloggers, please pray for her grandma’s soul and for strength for my friend and her family.

This post is inspired by: The Daily Prompt: Moon

 

 

 

Day 30: Ghost

I have been trying to deal with it

The ghost of my past keeps haunting me

The ghost of my past keeps taunting me

I have been trying to let it all go

But the fear of what happens next

Grips me entirely.

I know letting go wouldn’t be so bad

But i wonder why thinking of it makes me sad

Eventually, i let it go

Giving my ghost a release

Hoping the nightmare shall soon cease

It is a new page in life that i have turned

It is a new day, with the sun shining bright

No more gremlins, no more ghosts!

 

This post is inspired by: The Daily Prompt: Ghost

 

Day 29: Carry

He was a kid, always carried around by his mom

As he grew older, he learned to carry his little car around

Slowly, it was books and their size grew bigger

Each passing year

After years of lugging those big things around

It was time for something new

Then came the work laptop and the smart phone

 

Both of which never left his side day or night.

He would be disconnected

But yet always connected.

Message him and he’d respond under less than five

He didn’t realize the weight he was carrying around

The responsibility and expectations slowly increased

Till one day, the phone died.

There was nothing he could do.

No emails he could respond, no messages he could reply to

All he had was a phone that was on life support when connected to the charger

Dead otherwise.

He spent five days without the phone

No need for constantly checking to see if his friends commented on their silly thread on facebook

Nor the need to check WhatsApp for texts by ones who love him

Right now all he carries with him

Are all his whims and fancies

He is not being tracked

He is free!

 

This post is inspired by: The Daily Prompt: Carry

Day 28: Confused

She looks at herself in the mirror

She is meeting a friend for dinner

She doesn’t know if she should let her hair down

Or tie it up

She is momentarily confused.

 

They go to dinner

She looks at the menu

There’s so much food and they all sound great.

Some have pictures too

She is hungry and confused.

 

She goes to the super market to shop

All she wants is milk

But what stares back at her is no fat, low fat, 1%, 2%, skimmed, full fat.

Once again, she is frustrated and confused.

 

She sits in class

The professor says – It is a team project

She has two good friends she’d like to work with

But all she can do is pick one

This time she’s torn and confused.

 

She likes him, or she thinks she does

He says he likes her too, maybe

To her, his actions and words don’t add up

With him, she’s helplessly confused.

 

She applies for jobs

They both are great offers

One is more money the other is more freedom

They’re both big names and she likes them both

She is stressed and confused.

 

In all these situations,

With some amount of thinking

She usually comes to a decision

But when she thinks to herself,

She feels she is perpetually – Confused!

 

This post is inspired by : The Daily Prompt: Confused

Day 16-27:My Complicated Muse

Yes, yes, i know this is cheating. I promised to be blogging continuously, albeit at my own pace for 21 days because i wanted this to be a 21 day challenge. I read in some books that doing anything for 21 days helps you set that into a habit and once you get into the habit of doing something it is difficult to fall back into your old ways. I know that i just cannot say day 16 – day 27 and not write for 12 days but since i’ve missed writing given my travels away and vacation coming to an end, friends to meet and fun to have – i decided to just club 12 words and use them in one single post. That way i catch up with the daily prompt in a more effective manner than retroactively tagging the topics given.

The words: Muse, Craving, Praise, Stubborn, Paint, Luxury, Joke, Maybe, Surface, Obsessed, Reach, Complicated.

I think to myself, what a bouquet of words. Looking at them i know where my mind wants to take me. So i have an impish smile as i type:

My Complicated Muse is he

It probably started as a joke, maybe

And years later we still crave each other’s company

He is so stubborn and so am i, bullish in our own ways

When i think of him, i sigh!

How we can be beautiful and cold all the same

He has always been out of reach

Just being in the same space- is  luxury

Under the surface a lot bubbles

We try to shield each other from life’s troubles

He paints a pretty picture of the world for me

I am on top of the world, when he subtly praises me. 

Not letting his emotions show through his guarded personality

I don’t know if i am obsessed with him or him with me

My complicated muse is he, really!

This post is inspired by:

The Daily Prompt: Muse

The Daily Prompt: Craving

The Daily Prompt: Praise

The Daily Prompt: Stubborn

The Daily Prompt: Paint

The Daily Prompt: Luxury

The Daily Prompt: Joke

The Daily Prompt: Maybe

The Daily Prompt: Surface

The Daily Prompt: Obsessed

The Daily Prompt: Reach

The Daily Prompt: Complicated