For the past few weeks, i have been feeling very very restless. As if i have all the time in the world, which in my case is true too- since vacations are going on, but i am unable to make use of it to the fullest. Unable to reach my potential or fulfill my dreams. Then in hindsight, i realize i haven’t been dreaming too much. Waking up from some or the other sort of nightmare seems more like it these days.
I have been restless in so many ways – Restless and anxious thinking about my career- job, studies, family, friends, what i really want to be, what i really am and so much more and while i mention a gazillion things that make me feel this way, i know in my heart it is really one thing that is nagging me. Only problem is i have absolutely no idea what it is. Not even a faint/ vague idea of what it could be. The more i think of it the bleaker it gets but the melancholic feeling stays.
Maybe, just maybe it might go away in a few days when i will be busy with work. Maybe – an empty mind is by all means a devil’s workshop. Or maybe these are signs for me to introspect and make changes. Some small ones or some drastic ones. Learn from my mistakes, help others learn from mine. Go on an adventure, learn something new. Do something crazy but most of all learn to not do things i’d regret and do things anyway and not regret them because life is only a butt load of experiences held by a single thread- that of belonging to you.
As i grow older and my memory begins to fade away. I hope i find what i am looking for. Till then i will have to Keep Calm and ponder!